Do you like chocolate?
Wait. Sorry. That was a stupid question.
We all like chocolate, but you know what makes chocolate REALLY fantastic??
When it’s free.
Free chocolate makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
And a little bit squishy and jiggly too.
Why isn’t chocolate low-fat??? WHY??!?!?!?!
Let me tell you how this works…..
In my spare time, I write a blog about whatever I want and I say all kinds of ridiculous things and have lots of fun, and in return, I get free chocolate.
Free chocolate that was sent directly to my doorstep.
I heard angels singing.
There were beams of light shining from the heavens directly onto the postal-marked box and everything.
It was quite a moment for me.
Endangered Species Chocolate has a wonderful company mission and I think they are fantastic. I am not just saying this because they sent me free chocolate. I think anybody would agree that what they do is really special. Also, their chocolate is all natural and good for you too.
Which clearly means you can eat 5 whole bars as fast as you can, and you will get really skinny and be able to run 10 miles without breaking a sweat.
*logs on to Google for research*
It DOESN’T mean that!!!
I hate it when I misunderstand things.
*puts half-eaten chocolate away*
They sent me 3 bars, all dark chocolate, all with very different flavors.
Clearly, it’s all great. Really great.
I mean, come on…….. it’s chocolate. Of course it’s good.
Do you feel like eating chocolate yet???
I bet you do.
If it makes you feel better……I have had to take 2 chocolate breaks while writing this post. And I’m not finished writing yet.
By the time I finish this post, I will have to be forklifted out of my house to get to the liposuction doctor.
Liposuction freaks me out. Ew. They’ll have to forklift me somewhere else.
All right, here’s the part where I shut up and tell you the stuff you wanna know.
Somebody that reads my weird, little blog is gonna get some free chocolate.
The winner will have $20 worth of free chocolate mailed to them directly from the ESC company.
I need to sidetrack for a moment.
I have seen other blogs that have giveaways, and in order to enter said giveaway, you have to follow this list of instructions.
1. Subscribe to blog
2. Follow that blogger on Twitter (even if you must create a Twitter account just to do this)
3. The reader must advertise on another site that they entered the giveaway and link back to it (thereby decreasing their chances of winning)
4. Comment on the blog post with the giveaway. And sometimes comment on another post as well.
5. Announce the giveaway on Facebook.
6. Send blogger that is hosting the giveaway a blood sample.
7. Send a audition tape, explaining why you feel you should win.
8. Promise the blogger your first born child.
Okay, clearly, I tease again.
My point is…….all that stuff is a pain and I don’t want to do that to you.
I just want to give somebody free chocolate.
Please don’t send me a blood sample.
But hey, if you want to subscribe or follow cuz you think you may like me, I’m down with that.
Simply leave me a comment and tell me TWO things….
1. What is your favorite way to eat chocolate?? Cake, brownies, ice cream, fudge, or just a plain ol’ giant hunk of the stuff…..however you like it best.
My favorite way to have it is the “plain ol giant hunk” way.
2. What is one of the best books you have ever read??? I realize this has NO BEARING whatsoever on this giveaway, but I love books (A LOT) and I wanna know.
You don’t want me to give my answer to this question. If I do, this post will turn into a big book review festival by Moi, and that’s not what we’re here for.
Make sure you answer BOTH questions.
I will pick a random winner on Friday, Sept. 30th.
Also….sadly….due to the rules of Endangered Species Chocolate company, this contest is only open to people in the lower 48 states. (Sorry Lisa )
Update: SORRY…….ENTRIES ARE NOW CLOSED.Tweet