Soooo……

Last Wednesday and Thursday, I decided to load my Potatoes up and take them to the daycare area at the gym so I could get some exercise. They spent one hour in this facility each evening, while I reintroduced myself to jogging. I got a couple of really nice workouts, and I remembered how much I enjoy pretending to be athletic by running.

But here is the problem with the daycare that I was too dense to foresee:

If one has a 2 year old, that has never set foot inside a dirty, germ-infested daycare, that toddler will get sick. Very sick. And they will pass their sickness to everyone in the household.

And, apparently, when the basic flu germs get inside a two year old body that has NEVER been sick before, said germs will use the clean, fresh, internal landscape to morph into a mutant flu strain that will turn toddlers and mommies into disturbing, zombie-like creatures.

Friday night I took Tater to the ER. His entire head was a massive snot-filled arena. He was gooey and crusty and just generally very unattractive. The doc took one look at him and said “pink eye” (or conjunctivitis, for those that prefer the technical term).

So I filled his prescription and came home. Within the next hour, Tater was sawing logs, and I was bundled up in layers of clothes and blanket, freezing to death and aching because of the fever I was freshly sportin’.

All of Saturday was spent one of two ways: sleeping, or wishing I was sleeping. I didn’t even have the energy to shower. This is a big deal for me. I take my daily hygiene very seriously. (Mutant flu germs are exhausting little critters.) Tater curled up and slept with me, though I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t cuddle him as much as he wanted for fear of his crusty, oozy eyes rubbing their green slime all over me. I mean really. Nobody wants green goo in their eyes.

On Sunday I still felt terrible, but I looked around my house and thought, “This be some nasty happening in here”. So I started the dishwasher and started some laundry, took a shower, and then took a nap. I woke from nap, laid on the couch, took another nap, laid on the couch, then went to bed.

During a “laying on the couch” session last night, I decided to play Spud’s Harry Potter Lego game. Now, I do not care for video games. They just aren’t my thing. I find them to be either A.) boring, or B.) annoying. However, I dig me some Harry, and all I had to move were my thumbs, so I made my son tell me everything I needed to do to play the game.

I’m a pretty technical person. But let me tell you, my ten-year-old was talking to me like I was a total mental invalid as he tried to teach me how to play his game. I made my son play the game during the hard parts, and then give the controller back to me for the easy parts. He really wasn’t very amused, but I, on the other hand, enjoyed our system very much. 

And then, at one point, I had to make Harry do something really simple (hang a picture on a wall), and I could not move the stupid controller correctly enough to do this. I, for some reason, found this hysterical, and started laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face and no noise was coming out of my mouth and I could barely breath from laughing so hard. Spud chuckled a few times, but mostly he watched me with a look of fear on his face.

I may have been delirious.

And now it’s Monday morning and I feel better. Not A+, but definitely better.

I like to think that I’ll do normal things today, such as cleaning and cooking, but after a shower and a trip to the store (must have more kleenex with lotion), I think all I will accomplish is holding the couch down.

All of this for 2 hours of exercise.

Clearly, we as a society are not meant to exercise. Everything they tell us are lies.

Exercise = mutant mega germs and psychosis