March 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
1. Check email every 180 seconds. Be disappointed that there is NEVER any new emails.
2. Read two pages of a book, then close it. Check email. Read two more pages, check email. Be annoyed at your boredom.
3. Go to YouTube. Check to see if the people you subscribe to has any new videos. Be annoyed when you see that they don’t. What the hell are they doing with their time? They should be making new videos.
4. Check your favorite blogs for any new updates. Be annoyed when there is none.
5. Make a snack. Eat it while checking email.
6. Paint nails. Check email.
7. Text husband. He’s busy and can’t converse. Be annoyed that he’s not entertaining you.
8. Start writing this blog post. Take a break from compiling post to stare at your oldest kid. Freak him out.
9. Consider creating a recipe from random crap in your kitchen. Realize that you are LOW on groceries and this would be disastrous. Realize that this could be fun and consider doing it anyway.
10. Check email. Nothing.
11. Check favorite blogs. Nothing.
12. Check YouTube. Nothing.
13. Start cleaning your house. Do it half-heartedly. Quit after 5 minutes.
14. Check your sisters blog. Be annoyed that she isn’t adding new posts every 15 minutes simply to entertain you.
15. Gaze out the window.
16. Contemplate turning on the TV. Decide against it. Staring at the wall is more productive.
17. Try to create a delicious recipe using only potatoes, eggs, pizza sauce, and cream of mushroom soup. Fail.
18. Check email. Not one new damn email. Fine. I don’t like you either, world. FINE.
19. Check phone for text messages. None. FINE.
20. Consider exercising. Realize this would suck. Resume staring at nothing.
21. Make to-do list for tomorrow. Be very detailed. “Take shower. Check mail. Eat breakfast.” Try to make the list as long as possible with mundane activities.
22. Shoot Charlie.
23. Watch the dog sleep.
24. Watch toddler sleep.
25. Check email. I HAVE A NEW FREAKING EMAIL YAAAYYYYY!!! Be perturbed because it’s junk mail. Read it very thoroughly anyway before deleting.
26. Consider cleaning and/or organizing something. Realize this would suck and resume staring at nothing.
27. Do twenty jumping jacks.
28. Consider the normalcy of your 2-year-old, who insists on being butt-naked 24 hours a day.
29. Write dumb lists.
30. Write dumb blog post.Tweet