Pioneer Woman

March 30, 2012 in Uncategorized by Penny


Lets talk about an evening of insanity and fun.

My sister and I went to Pioneer Woman’s book signing. My sister and I are fans, though admittedly, my sister is a much bigger fan than I am. Smile

Now PW is a big deal everywhere right now, but I can’t help but think that here in her home state, she is HUGE. Therefore, I knew that the event would be utter madness. I knew it, and tried to mentally prepare myself for it.

The madness exceeded my wildest expectations.

We arrived an hour early to find a line that contained hundreds of people, waiting to get inside. I kid you not.


Once we were inside and found seats, we were super happy to see that FREE FOOD was being served. And it was not little nibbles of food. Massive amounts were being dished out.



Two things were being served: Dessert and meat. Typical PW fashion. Smile Clearly I passed on the meat dishes, but the desserts were amazing. I had 3 cookies and 2 chocolate doohickey thingamajigs. All the recipes were from her new cookbook.

The diet I’m on had a bad night.


Let me tell you something……

When a crowd of feisty people is presented with endless trays of delicious free food….things get hairy.

A server would come calmly walking along, and suddenly, out of nowhere, there would be an overwhelming number of bodies and hands and teeth and snarling.

I told my sister it was like watching Shark Week.


While we were waiting for PDub to come out, I became fascinated by a family standing directly in front of us. This is very unrelated to Pioneer Woman but I’m going to talk about this anyway. Skip ahead if you like. Smile


The husband and wife were young. Maybe a year or two younger than me.

The wife was BEAUTIFUL.


(I wasn’t going to photograph strangers and post their pictures. I think that’s a little inappropriate.)

Anyway, she was really dressed up. Beautiful LITTLE dress and high heels. Her hair and makeup were immaculate. She was very thin and just so very lovely.

And here’s the best part……

She had FIVE children.


Judging by the ages of the kids, I’m pretty sure she stayed pregnant for a solid 7 years. AND….all of her children (all of whom were very young, the youngest was about a year and a half old) were amazingly well-behaved. They all stood in the same spot for about two hours. They never whined, screamed, or in any way acted unmannerly. Even the baby. The youngest boys hanged on their daddy’s legs. They were quiet and sweet the whole time.


(Kids don’t count in my no-photographing-strangers rules. Smile)

So, recap.

Mommy is amazingly gorgeous and well put together. She has 5 children that are freakishly well behaved. Daddy seemed relaxed and happy and doted on them all.

Here is my question…..

What species was this family?

I studied them really hard, but try as I might, I could not figure out what planet they originated from.



A band tried to keep the crowd entertained while everyone waited for Ree.


And I took a few random pics, as I’ve clearly already demonstrated by the photos of strangers feet….


Here’s something interesting…..


These tickets were being passed out at the door. Every person received a ticket that had a letter on it. Each letter represented a group that contained one hundred people.


Group A had 100 people.

Group B had 100 people.

And so one.

And just so you know, these tickets went really high up into the alphabet.

Yes. Insanity.

Moving on.


Time for PW.


I had assumed that as often as she goes on book tours and does events that she would have the public-speaking thing down to a science. But, bless her heart, you could hear the quavering in her voice from nervousness. It was very endearing.

She did a Power Point presentation, which was adorable.


Towards the end, she started talking about Charlie……


It was at this point that I sat back down and tuned out everything she said. Because of recent events in my life, I started to cry. Embarrassing.


And then she started to sing, and it was hilarious and so cute.


Something I found surprising was that she seems totally comfortable with women drooling over her husband. She kept showing pictures of him, and was not at all disturbed when women would scream and whistle.


This baffles me.

If  hordes of women were drooling over my husband, I would turn into something like this….


Once her presentation was over, group A was called into line for the initial book signings.

100 people trying to form a line is an interesting sight.

While my sister and I were seated and waiting, I suddenly noticed a girl standing in front of us who looked EXACTLY like Salma Hayek. I kept looking at her like the creepo I am until I could no longer refrain from approaching her and telling her how much she looked like the actress.

She was very friendly and we started chatting. After we had been chatting a few minutes, my sister made a comment that she saw Cowboy Josh.

The Salma Hayek look-a-like leaned in very close to me and quietly said, “I’m dating him.”

I smiled and said, “Nuh-uh” in a very matter-of-fact sort of way.

She smiled and said, “Yep, I am. Come on. You can take his picture.”

And she very promptly led me over to Cowboy Josh, and he greeted her with hugs and kisses, and I took their picture.


Now, I could post her picture, but I got the feeling that she didn’t really want everybody around her to know this tidbit of info, so, in respect for her privacy, I edited her out of the photo.


Now, I’m going to say something potentially very unpopular.

I spent about 3 minutes in the presence of Cowboy Josh, and within 10 seconds of meeting him, I knew that I would not enjoy his company on a regular basis. I won’t say anymore than that. I may have just got a bad first impression. That happens.

I will say that Salma was a doll. I liked her. 


Once this encounter was finished, my sister and I determined that the “group A” line to meet Ree had not moved one inch in about 30 minutes. It was then that my sister decided she would prefer to seek out the more manageable crowd in which Marlboro Man was signing books.


This is the point in the evening in which I became truly fascinated. Let me explain…..

I’m not one that generally gets excited about “celebrity”.

Sure….there are celebrities I like or admire, but I can not think of one single celebrity that I would truly like to meet. People are just people to me.

Therefore, watching woman after woman press her way into the crowd, thrusting books into his face for signing was absolutely amazing to me. Cameras were going off like wildfire, right in his face, and there was absolutely no way he could have forced himself out of the crowd.

I tried very hard to keep my mouth from hanging open in amazement while I watched this transpire.

And I was equally amazed at how well he handled it. He has clearly had practice with this. He was very gracious, kind, and personable. He looked every single person in the eye, said thank you, and when a woman would want a picture with him, he would put his arm around her in a very friendly, but carefully distant, sort of way.

There was one woman in particular that was clearly madly in love with him. I am certain that in her mind, if he would JUST LOOK AT HER, he would fall madly in love with her too, and he would leave Ree and their children and run away with her. She looked at him like he was personally responsible for the rising and setting of the sun each day. When she looked at his face, her eyes became the size of a chicken egg.  lol


I wanted to slap her. Smile 

Malboro Man seemed extraordinarily unimpressed by her as well…….which really made me respect him a lot.


My sister got her cookbook signed by MM and she chatted with him just a bit. He was very pleasant.


He signed my cookbook too (my sister bought PW’s first cookbook for me as a gift Smile). I basically said thank you and ran away after he signed my book. SmileI was worried about getting mauled by waiting women.  My sister snapped a few shots, but I look like an utter troll in all of them.




That. Is. Embarrassing.

I’m going to regret posting that. Smile

I am so exceptionally NOT photogenic.


After we escaped the crowd of women surrounding MM, we decided that we just did NOT what to endure the all-night wait to meet PW. It would have taken multiple hours.

Besides, I’m pretty sure my sister was content to meet only Marlboro Man. Smile


And that is it!!!

As we were leaving the downtown area, I started snapping some night-time city shots. My sis drove me around for a bit so I could play with my camera.


I’m proud of those photos!!! Love the colors!

I took several of them through the windshield of her car, which caused them to have a grainy effect, but hey, I still like em. Smile