Last night, we went out to dinner.

Going out to dinner with Tater in tow is, um, a difficult experience.

Our method of feeding him usually entails locking him in a bare room, and quickly throwing a raw steak in through a slot in the door.

He hunches over his meat in the corner, naked, and smears the blood all over his face before eating it.  

Not really.

But if this were to ever happen, it wouldn’t surprise me. 

Anyway….

We was out to eat last night, and the child was becoming very problematic. The kid can NOT sit still. My husband views it as a major discipline problem, and while I admit that there is that, I feel that mostly the problem is that the kid was not meant for idleness. Idleness makes him crazy. He must explore and conquer and discover….. ALL THE TIME.

So in my utter desperation to keep him in his highchair (and you have no idea how hard keeping him in his highchair can be), I gave him a single serving container of butter that can usually be found on restaurant tables to correspond with bread.

I tore the paper tab off the top, and set the little plastic container in front of him.

What happened next absolutely cracked me up. But, of course, he’s my kid, so this may not be as adorable to everyone else.  

The butter sat on the table before him….and he just looked at it. He stared at it, without moving, and I could see him trying to figure out what to do with the little container of goop I had just giving him.

He suddenly figured it out.

He has seen me with plenty of little containers/pots.

He knew just what to do.

I had clearly given him makeup. LMAO!!!!!!

He dabbed it around his eyes and on his upper cheekbones…and then he rubbed it in.

Please notice the preparatory face he his making before patting the butter onto his skin. lol

His father was not nearly as amused as I was.  

In other news, Spud brought home picture proofs that were taken at school. Every single time I look at this photo I die laughing.

We’re moving him to Transylvania. In Transylvania he will purchase a black cloak, live off the blood of sewer rats, and stalk young girls in dark, cold alleys. 

The End.